Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Problem with Hollywood Clubs?

OK, lets be honest.  Hollywood clubs aren't what they use to be.  Years ago Hollywood clubs were some of the best places to go party, chill, and have a drink with your friends.  Now-a-days, Hollywood clubs are full of more Ed hardy, and Affliction wearing guys.  The girls dresses are so tight it creates what we like to call The Muffin Top.  C'mon ladies, you know that doesn't look so good.  When your drunk and falling over later that night, it really isn't cute when the muffin falls off and we get to see just top.  Guys, if you want to swallow paint and throw up on a shirt... Save it for the house.  Don't leave the house with it on.
Problem number 2 is Ego.  From the bouncers to the club promoters Ego's have become so large that J-Lo says, "wow what a big ass".  It is just as easy to not let someone in a club or ask them to leave while being nice.  I know you hate your job, I know you hate having to go to this damn club every night and deal with annoying drunks and people that think they are gods gift.  I am of-coarse not talking about the guys that are throwing money, or spraying champagne.  I think they should be taken out of the club a lot quicker.  If your a baller and you can throw money, then throw 10's or 20's.  We are not strippers, or homeless people.  Save your Dollars.  Bring the 1's to the guys sitting outside with no home.  They need the money.
If you want to talk about how big of a baller you are and you get a table.  That's cool, your stimulating the economy.  Thank you for that.   However, how come you are the same guy that asks for ever discount you can ever get.  Your the guy that offers the club your fake Rolex so that you can leave and come back to pay the rest of your bill.  Then you stiff the waitress, the person you have been telling all night, "Nah, I am a Hot Boy mah, I got dat money".  Trust me "Bro"  the girls working there have seen you and all of your twins in the club every night.  Your the reason "Hot boy" has changed it's meaning.  No waitress, or bottle service girl is going to give you her number.  Good job giving her yours, but at the end of the night when you stiff them is probably when she decides she isn't going to call you.  Or when she watches you make out wtih a drunk girl at your table, that could be when she decided not to call you.  Ps. The girls aren't drinking out of your bottle because your hot, it is because it's free and someone that works at the club said hey go to table number "blahblah" and drink their money so they will buy more.
Now, what is the problem with these clubs you ask.  Simple.  There are too many damn promoters, egos, and greed!!!  When you only have 5 to 6 promoters in a city and they know their crowd and where they want to be, it is much easier to have some great Hollywood clubs! Clubs that last, instead of fall of the face of the earth in less then a year so you have to paint the bathroom or something and name it after a french name for a vagina.  Now, when their is over 40 promotion teams all in Los Angeles because they think it's the new IT job and that it is so easy, then you have way too many options.   Everyone wants to go try out a different night.  To see "their friend" the guy they met 2 nights ago.  By the way ladies, if your hott, and you have a good amount of girls, you can go into any club you want.  You don't need "The hook up"  Lets put it this way.  Hollywood has a lot of amazing looking people, however when that hand full of people get spread to 5 clubs in one night instead of 2 then the clubs suffer and the crowds are mediocre at best.  Unfortunately it creates the problem of going to a club that feels like your flying somewhere on Southwest airlines.
You want to keep good people in your club? The ones that aren't causing you a hell of a lot of drama and are probably spending just as much in your club as the bottle service guys and actually tipping your staff?  One bottle service guy may pay $400 for a bottle of Vodka, but when he shares it between 10 people you aren't doing all that well anymore.   Lets get rid of the Ego's.  Treat people like human beings all the time.  Whether you can let them in or not, do it with respect.  No one will be hanging around when you have to act like an ass just to have a good time.  Another thing is if you own the club, that maybe named after a fruit, and you may resemble that fruit, then you should probably pay your promoters.  If the promoters ever get a little smarted and learn to work together then the owners of some of these clubs would actually pay you.  I know you think your making good money, but you should see how much you would make when your not getting a little skimmed off the top before you see how much money the club made that night. 
My last and final thought.  As a patron, don't waist all your time becoming famous in the club scene.  Possibly think about pursuing your own career and stop wasting your fathers money on alcohol and vicadine.  I get it, Paris became famous on vicadine and red bull, but I don't think she was aiming all that high anyway.  Her parents own The Hilton Hotels!  She is ok in her future.  I mean come on, being on reality shows do not make you someone to look up to, nor does it make you talented or exceptional.  I will admit, it does make you entertaining.. Dance monkey dance.. 


  1. Very much on point. If the promoters were smart they would put together some kind of makeshift union. I just laugh at the "ballers," lol.

  2. Amen bro, amen.
    So glad to be out of that world. I can honestly say though, and I think you know this, that I was one of the guys workin' the door that WAS nice and polite to people (most of the time).
    You forgot also to talk about one thing: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, WEAR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT!!!

  3. True... and God knows I don't go out. But to be honest... you sound overly bitter which never comes from a good place. If you hate it so much why waste your time spreading the hate and writing about it?

  4. To: Anonymous..

    In hopes that someone, will save themselves from diving into what they can't get away from. Or who knows, maybe it will help someone.

    Plus, it was pretty fuckin funny the way most of them acted..

    Raphe, Hells yes! Take off your damn sunglasses in the club!

  5. Agreed. Going to a club used to be a fun event for friends looking to have a good time-not a place to try to show off with your one expensive outfit and someone getting so smashed you are embarrased to be in the same room with them. Hope you are having a great time in the LA initials that don't stand for Los Angeles. You have always been a stand-up guy, and that is much appreciated in this era where 'shadiness' passes for cool, and respect is a forgotten notion.